Only those who’ve felt not beautiful enough understand how it’s like to be filled by GOD’s love and get to see themselves as their Creator does..📝
Honestly, it’s impossible to see yourself completely beautiful outside of GOD!
Being fully confident, I mean godly-confident can be a little uncomfortable at first but blissful once you are used to it and fully embrace it. 🥰
Whom would I be without GOD’s love? How and what will I be? These are some of the questions I ask myself whenever I think and appreciate GOD’s love for finding me sooner…
Looking back…..
From being timid and too shy, standing and sitting at the back, wanting to hide almost all the time, and being afraid of the spotlight. JESUS washed me, renewed me, and put me in the front where I belong.😊
Well, I don’t regard shyness as a character flaw as I used to while growing up, I now look at it as a part of me that kept me in place yet cost me some excellent opportunities along the way… Truly I’d choose being laid back, quiet, and calm than being too forward and loud any day.😅
Before I truly knew CHRIST, I had superficial confidence, I looked and viewed myself based on how I looked, what I wore, what I owned, good grades, what I had, ambition, the people I associated with, and some other reasons that pump up people’s egos, that makes one feel important or high esteemed.
If my confidence relied merely on things or nothingness, was it ever going to stand?
Yes, I’ve always believed in GOD, the word(blindly and religiously), kindness, humility, and good character traits, but was I ever truly confident in who I was?
I was too hungry for success and riches. I walked with what is called determination and a proud self. I believed in independence(some masculinity) to the extent that I never wanted to need anyone or ask for help, even if I needed something like money(toxic self-sufficiency).
I now believe that pride, emptiness, brokenness, lack of purpose, covered by superficiality contributed a lot to who I was. I was a mess.
But is there anything too hard for the LORD??🙂
GOD had to start from scratch. HE had to clean, break, humble, teach, discipline, and rebuild me.
At some point, I watched my dreams, plans, efforts, and ambitions burn to ashes before my eyes. I saw doors closing, and people switching up on me and betraying me. It was a painful experience. GOD wanted to break down all the sense of control I believed I had over my life. Every single thing that I trusted in, had hope in and put a lot of faith in. GOD removed almost everything until I tremendously broke down.
It wasn’t easy for me to let go of who I was and what I wanted, I fought so hard, I resisted. I looked for new strategies, drew and designed new plans, sought more advice, and connected with some individuals who were seemingly ahead of me for motivation and inspiration. I tried again. All my efforts were painfully in vain.🥲
Imagine a warrior who never backs down after being hit so hard, getting back up after every hit no matter how hard. GOD knows what HE put inside of me, HE knows the resilience, persistence, tenacity, and even some stubbornness. HE knew exactly how much would it take for me to surrender. HE stripped off everything I held on to.
HE forced and taught me to surrender and that’s when everything changed. 🌻
The old self, tears, pain, perspective, and attitude were all infiltrated with the truth. To get to know who I truly am, I had to know HIM first… “You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free”(John 8:32)
I had to relearn almost everything. GOD re-introduced HIMSELF all over again and introduced me to myself. I didn’t know who I truly was and I was never truly confident.
After I got to know who I am in CHRIST, I’ve never looked back… Now success, money, what I have, wear, and what I own don’t get to define who I am.
I am a child of GOD, saved by grace.🙂
The rest are just additional to what GOD decides to bless me with, in short just mere blessings that will one day be vanity when I head back home(heaven). I work hard to glorify GOD, evangelize, and succeed in anything and more to glorify only GOD, not me and definitely not to impress anyone.
Are you still controlled by worldly standards, views, and definitions? JESUS can set you free.
May the LORD open up your eyes if HE hasn’t, may HE heal, renew and restore all that needs to be in JESUS Name.🙂🙏💕
